Wednesday, February 25, 2015

What Would Harper Do?

Of course I'm referring to the "sequel" to Harper Lee's magnum opus To Kill A Mockingbird that is apparently on its way to us. I wonder aloud (so much so that people in public stop plucking their groceries from the shelves and stare at me) what Harper has to say about all of this. By all accounts, she's quite elderly, blind, deaf, yada-yada. There has yet to be a statement released by her. We're all to assume that she's given the green light on all of this, but... did she?

I can't help but consider the wide spectrum of emotion that this news has brought to us bookophiles of the world... I've seen both outright jubilation and abject horror (once from the same person). Many of us recoil at the sound of To Kill A Mockingbird II: Return of Boo, but couldn't our concerns be eased a bit if Harper herself came out and was like, "Look, guys. Chill. I wrote this. Trust me, I wrote it. Oh, and by the way, it's pretty freaking awesome."

Would that be so hard? That's all it would take, by the way. I mean, if she is actually coherent enough to give the "go-ahead" on the new novel, her second ever, wouldn't she also be capable of issuing one little statement?

What do you think of all of this Harper?

While we're at it, here are some more sequels of classic works that I think would be equally amazing/horrifying to myself and others like me. Fortunately, none of these ever happened.

Lord of the Flies: Part Deux. The Curse of Piggy

Macbeth 2: Dead and Loving It

The Stranger II: No Longer a Stranger

Blue Eggs and Ham: Still I Am

Sleep Tight 'Ya Morons!: A Collection of Bedtime Stories from the Mind of Holden Caulfield

On the Road. Again.

Paradise Found.

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